


safe

by fadedredscarf



Category: SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Family, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Found family hours, Gen, Happy, Haunted by the past, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Paranoia, Survivor Guilt, just a teensy bit of it, just a teensy bit of that one as well, minor depictions of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedredscarf/pseuds/fadedredscarf
Summary: twilight has never felt inner peace before.
Relationships: Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	safe

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to another oneshot where i bully loid forger and give him angst. 
> 
> also i feel like it's insanely difficult to write dialogue for children i tried my best LOL
> 
> (once again there is minor depictions of war imagery in the beginning)

Darkness. 

Everything was blurry - or more accurately, everything was torn and tattered around. 

A young boy was frantically running aimlessly in the void, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He absolutely detested the unknown and the unpredictable because it had managed to take away everything he loved. Fear was running rampant on the back of his head, and all he wanted was the feeling to stop. Although survival was of the essence, from head to toe, the boy’s body was heavily scuffed with scratches and bruises that urgently need treatment, yet he couldn’t help himself but to seek for a person he desperately wanted; no, _needed_ , so if it was going to cost his life for it, then so be it - 

The boy’s eyes dilated in surprise. His footsteps came to a halt beneath the concrete.

At a distance sat a lone woman. She was disheveled - but familiar. 

_M..._

In fact, he’s seen this figure and appearance so many times that not remembering it would be a sin he wouldn’t be able to bear. 

“...Mother?” his voice echoed amidst the broken slabs of concrete. Even though he no longer had the energy to cry, the boy could feel his eyes swell.

However, the woman did not respond back to his call. 

That was okay, he thought. He has been given a second chance. What he’s seen that happened to his mother before wasn’t true after all, because there she was, sitting all alone. All he needed was to grab her and run to safety then everything can be okay again.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the boy sprinted forward as much as he could, not even his wounded legs could give out to stop him. 

“Mother… _Mother…!”_ The boy could only smile ear to ear as he extended his arms wide. _I'm_ _getting closer…!!_

But it all

happened

too soon. 

The boy was blinded by a bright flashing white and silver light. A blast from an explosion sent his body flying, hitting the broken slabs of concrete that shattered even more crashing down to his body, making him stuck and unable to move. Try as he may to dig himself out from the blocks, the scent of smoke eventually overwhelmed into his nostrils; the taste of blood, mixed together with the disgusting bile stuck in his throat, ruined every part of what little spirit he had left. He knew at this point that it was _futile_ , but he didn’t want to accept it. 

The last thing he heard wasn’t the screeching noise that belonged to the sky - it was his. 

* * *

_“_ _...Mother—!!”_

Twilight found himself grunting and gasping for air.

The warm glimmer of sunrise woke the blonde man up. He was usually an early bird since it was necessary for him to be so due to his profession.

Ironically, that was not the reason why the man had awakened as the light of dawn began to shine. 

“Ugh…” the man groaned. His weary blue eyes blinked rapidly; he was immediately awake. 

_War does not care about who you are._

_War does not care about your name._

For Twilight, these words have rung true in his mind for decades. Life has never been easy on him; ever since he was young, the man had always felt like he was destined to be alone. Constantly having to lose everything to war had completely made him desensitized to it all. Nevertheless, this was a price to pay for specializing in espionage - it was moments like these that primal emotions took over his rationale; because he was up and scanning every nook and cranny checking if there were any signs of danger that would be of risk to him and _to the household._ Yet why did he sense that someone was watching him?

After confirming there were no signs of environmental danger, the man let out a heavy sigh. He slapped his right palm to his forehead - there was a stinging pain in his head that wouldn’t go away. The imagery from his nightmare wouldn’t go away.

To distract himself from the feeling, the exhausted blonde haired man approached the bathroom. He gave himself two to three seconds to look at himself deadpan in the mirror. 

He looked _awful._

 _Get a hold of yourself Twilight._ he internally cursed, dousing his face with chilly water and rubbing away his watery eyes. Maybe the workload from the amount of personnel shortages has gotten the best of him, he thought. Next, he decided to walk to the kitchen. Since he was already awake, Twilight could treat the morning as normal and shrug his morning presence like any other mornings he has gone through before; preparing breakfast for the family before the sun could fully rise. He’ll have to repress, bottle, _shut these feelings away_ , rinse and repeat, forget this specific morning ever happened, move on his merry little way without letting anyone see him in his vulnerable state. It’s what Twilight’s routine was when he gets emotional, and it works every time. 

After all, emotions are nothing but a crux for men like him.

As he was nearing his way to the kitchen, Twilight’s ears picked up a noise that sounded like a creaking door ajar together with the sound of aggressive footsteps.

_An enemy- no, multiple of them? T-This early? But I thought I checked everything! Damnit Twilight, you really have to get a grip!_

His head dashed up and down, trying to find which direction the treadings were coming from. Gritting his fists and teeth tightly, Twilight made the decision to turn around and was prepared to confront whoever the mysterious intruder was.

Or so he thought. 

Twilight’s shoulders were as stiff as a rock. When he squinted to see who was there up close; they immediately relaxed when he saw a tiny horned figure and a wide, fuzzy being next to it. He assumed a calm persona as soon as possible so she won’t question anything.

“A-Anya? It’s still early, why are you up?” the bewildered man blurted, blinking rapidly in surprise. The little girl and her dog quickly zoomed to Twilight on their feet. 

“Papa!” Anya puffed from running. “Bond heard something! He told me to tell you!” The dog yapped politely in agreement. 

“H-He did?” Did they hear him panic? 

“Yeah! I wasn’t sure what,” the light pink haired girl explained, “but I trust Bond’s word, so…!” stroking the chin of the white dog.

_You have a responsibility to care for this creature for its whole life._

“I… see…” he forcefully replied, smiling. “I applaud you both for being attentive. Thankfully I think there’s nothing to worry about.” Twilight’s eyes began averting from the two.

_Who am I kidding? Who am I to talk?_

“Papa?”

_If I couldn’t save her, do I have the right to protect others?_

A gentle tug on the man’s nightwear snapped him back to reality. 

“Papa…” 

This time, Anya’s typical cheeriness gradually dropped; she looked concerned. “You look really scared. Maybe Bond told me to check on Papa all along?”

Without realizing, the man had been glaring intently when he spaced out. His heartbeat was on the verge of panic as his fists were curling themselves tightly to numb themselves; he immediately let them go.

_I hate how intuitive children are sometimes._

“Oh, I know!” She tiptoed herself up to get a better look at the spy - for a second, Twilight could see a sense of determination in her face, but he wasn’t particularly sure why. “Let’s take a nap together, Papa!” 

The golden haired spy was about to reject her offer, then Anya crossed her arms together as if she would’ve guessed his attempt to do so.

“Nuh-uh-uh, Papa. You told me there was nothing to worry about, remember?” she beamed proudly. Bond wagged his tail in approval of her statement. 

_She’s made a very good point._

Playing the role of Loid Forger was just another menial job to Twilight - a task that he could perform like any other mission with perfection. He had expected to come into the mission and walk back out of it in one go, but after undertaking Operation Strix for months, he’s starting to wonder if he’s anything but what he thought of himself former to the mission. Cracks were starting to show under his web of lies, so what does he decide to do about it?

“What about breakfast?”

He'll play along.

“Mama can’t cook. She’ll wake us up when she’s ready!” she deviously sneered. 

“Alright, fine.” As much as he hated to admit it, Loid Forger chuckled and raised his arms in defeat. “You win.” He walked to the living room sofa and waited for her daughter to follow.

“Huzzah! Bondman and Princess Honey have saved the day!” Anya sparkled in glee and threw her fists up the air. “Let’s go celebrate this victory together, Bondman!” She high-fived the dog’s black paws. 

“Princess Honey does not become Bondman’s sidekick. Isn’t she the princess he has to keep saving…”

“You’re a fake fan, Papa!” his daughter lamented, interrupting Loid. 

“Whatever, just hurry up already.” 

“Al~righty!” 

The pink haired girl saluted her father and climbed onto the sofa, slumping her body against his. Of course the child would obnoxiously occupy most of the tiny space, but Loid did not mind it one bit, merely accommodating to himself with what space had remained. Meanwhile, Bond obediently tailed behind her, then curled himself up in front of the two next to them. 

Loid was about to ask her if she was comfortable, but his ears could tell that Anya was already fast asleep. The more he examined her, the more relaxed his limbs were. When he began to feel and hear her breaths, Loid instinctively wriggled his arms out and wrapped it around her body, calmly stroking her head as to console her that she can sleep soundly. The tranquil sensation was enhanced even more as she adjusted herself, bobbing her head to be closer to his chest. Accepting her into his embrace. 

It was almost cathartic. Time was freezing still at this moment, he was sure of it. 

His eyes soon slowly wavered; before he drifted off, all of his focus was directed on ensuring Anya was soothed. As much as Twilight’s mindset protested that he didn’t deserve this, her hushed and quiet snores were more than enough to reassure Loid Forger that everything is going to be okay. Twilight had struggled through thick and thin to find that _one_ thing that could give him peace. It was unfathomable that the answers lied in this child all along.

It will take a long time for him to accept and face his past head on. 

But everything will be okay. Everything is going to be okay.

For the first time in his life, Twilight is safe. 

  
  



End file.
